But how does it read on the john?

THERE'S A NOOK IN MY WATER CLOSET.

That would be the headline if there were a newspaper for my life today.

Last week I broke down and bought my first eReader, the lovely (if admittedly old-school by now) 1st Generation Nook 3G/WiFi unit from Barnes & Noble.

Cut to the chase, Gaucho.

I've been reading via Nook for about four days now. I enjoy it thoroughly, and don't identify very much with those who say "I could never part with my hardcovers." Folks, the ebook police are not going to come to your house and confiscate your hardcovers. And they're not going to quit making new hardcovers any time soon either, however inevitable their eventual demise may seem. You can read your Tom Clancy hardcover in your easy chair, and take your Nook on the road, the plane, but subway, to the soccer game, whatever.

Cut to the chase, Gaucho.

Not until this morning after breakfast did I think what should have been the most thinkable thought the very first time I even HEARD of an e-Reader:

BUT HOW DOES IT READ ON THE JOHN?

As uncouth as we are loathe to be in this day and age, we can still be rather Victorian about some things here in this great land of ours. One such thing is reading on the can. We all do it. OK, all of us who read do it. And if you say you don't, either a) you are lying or b) I pity you, oh how I pity you.

At the risk of being called the Prince of Non-Sequitirs (it's OK, I know you were thinking it) I have recently slung a boatload of guitars around. To clarify- A year ago I bought an electric guitar. A few months later I bought another. Within a month I had traded electric guitar 2, a red one, for another one, green/blue (electric guitar 3- I now own #'s 1 and 3). Not too much later I thought I would sell #3, but I ended up trading it for a 4th, root-beer-brown guitar. I now own electric guitars 1 and 4, but #1 is for sale at Brookstown Stringed Instruments, purveyors of fine...stringed instruments.

With the exception of the red one (#2) (maybe), I played all of these guitars on the john. I have even developed a philosophy of "you really don't know what you think of a guitar until you play it on the john." Some days I take it further- "You really don't know a guitar until you play it on the john."

Cut to the chase, Gaucho.

So this morning I realize that I've apparently been suffering some massive neuro-disconnect in that I had never thought of my Nook or eReaders in general in the same way. Enter today's elimination excursion with attention to education.

The bottom line: Not until after hands were washed and the entire event was over did I even REMEMBER that part of my purpose in there was to see how the Nook reading exprerience in that context compares to a pbook (physical book) experience. It took me a second to realize, but that was a veritable epiphany, and one that fares very well for eReaders- both the devices and their devotees.

So if you did not suffer the same mental eclipse that kept me from wondering about this crucial regard of e-readerdom, wonder no more. You needn't worry that 21st century reading technology will put an end to 20th century reading pleasures.

Happy trails.